The last new moon was at 7:36am on January 29th. We are almost halfway through this cycle, and until last night I hadn’t felt as though I was any closer to having words – much less having focus.
I am grateful for that sentiment changing yesterday. It was a trying day where I felt I had to lay the groundwork to say goodbye to someone I had once been very close to. Goodbyes of this type are rarely easy – but sometimes we need to do difficult things for our overall health – and to align with our deepest held values.
In last cycle’s focus, I closed the writing by saying that we need to “Cast off that which burdens us, or no longer serves us, and unfurl the sails. Breathe the air, feel the salt spray, and set a course for the horizon.” The freedom and tranquility of the open sea calls loudly these days, and there is so much that is spiritually burdensome. I am reminded of something a dear, trusted soul told me twelve years ago – “make room in your life for joy.”. Joy has been an infrequent companion these past few weeks.
As a spiritual mentor keeps echoing to me – we cannot help the way we feel, but we do have control over how we choose to react. I can either become catatonic and surrender to my terrors, or I can lash out in omnidirectional anger and frustration, or I can choose a gentler path.
My own mental chemistry cajoles me into assuming responsibility for making everything okay. Don’t let there be unpleasant ripples in the lives around you, keep the peace and avoid conflict. Of course, this becomes completely undone when one of my other triggers is set off. If someone acts in a way reminiscent of one or more antagonistic characters in the story of my life – this persona of peaceful arbiter of neutrality morphs into selfish self-preservation. I don’t particularly like either side of that coin. I would prefer to blend personal agency with an open generosity of spirit.
This brings me to the focus for this cycle: Fraternity. No – not the Greek campus organizations, but the second definition: “the state or feeling of friendship and mutual support within a group” – helping one another. I had a moment last month when I was volunteering at the door of an event, acting as a gatekeeper to keep the event safe. This evoked a feeling of being protective and nurturing toward a community that needed those things in that moment. This is who and what I want to be, and this is who I hope we all might aspire to being.
The motto of the French Republic, enshrined in their constitution, is Liberté, égalité, fraternité – or liberty, equality, and fraternity. I always believed these ideals were common to my country as well – but I’m not sensing that these days, and that makes me sad. I find I am angry because I am mourning the loss of something I had grown up feeling couldn’t be compromised – and it’s being lost as a result of a long-game of deceptive glamour. Pretend to give the people what they want, and you can charge anything for it – including their very freedom.
But what if we flip the script and think globally and act locally? What if we all were the gatekeepers of those around us who are less fortunate? What if we embrace the sense of community from the ground up? What if we disregard the noise and lead each moment and each interaction with compassion? Can we make kindness and compassion contagious?
So this cycle I will work to embrace the concept of Fraternity – of working for the common good. I will try to set aside the weapons of war for the tools of peace. I will endeavor to understand, and where relevant educate, rather than dismiss. Much like I did in the ‘goodbye’ I mentioned earlier, I left open an avenue for compromise. There are very few people who are not eligible for a redemption arc.
The bridge for this cycle’s song has to be my mantra:
If I’m laden at all
I’m laden with sadness
That everyone’s heart
Isn’t filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
At least in the microcosm, I want to try to greet the world with love and compassion and support. I felt no burden gatekeeping the event – I was proud to carry my brothers and sisters. It wasn’t a sacrifice, it was a privilege. We don’t lose anything when we give to an honorable cause.