At 8:47am on November 1st, the moon was new again. The theme for the last cycle was Definition. In an effort to figure out what Mattered, I wanted to try to take some time to figure out exactly who I was. The results were mixed.
October presented numerous opportunities for personal growth. I faced challenges with new people in unfamiliar environments, there were vibrant gigs with the band, which allowed me to express myself musically. I overcame obstacles that were Defining to my professional identity. I had a moment with my spiritual community that was deeply resonant. However, I realize that these experiences are merely components that could belong to anyone. Nothing truly stood out as a unique path for my Definition. And maybe that’s really the lesson there. We are the sum of our experiences – and it’s those moments that are unique to each of us.
Today, I find myself reflecting not only on my personal life but also on the state of the world at large, in microcosm and macrocosm. I sense that the world, the country, and myself have moved beyond the realm of Definition and decision. Instead, we all find ourselves at Crossroads, with the multiple directions seemingly limitless. Each path represents a different perspective, a different variable. Do we choose the path of resistance, railing against the perceived impositions on us? Or do we succumb to complacency, accepting the status quo and diligently going about our daily lives? Do we actively bury our heads in the sand, deferring that it’s someone else’s problem?
In this moment of reflection, I opt for a fourth alternative. There’s a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh that teaches that “it is only by cultivating peace in our own body and mind, releasing tension, calming strong emotions, re-evaluating our perceptions, and making peace with our family members and colleagues, that we will be able to create peace in our society, our nation and in the world.” So yeah – over the past several years I’ve had the “luxury” of unpacking a lot of my underlying stress and anxiety in an effort to make peace with my past and myself. Now I feel that inner work needs to take a back seat to instilling a little more distance and fortitude, and trying to be of better service to the greater community.
This focus on self and the radiating outward of energies is truly where I’ve always strived to be. It’s been in my spirituality for over a decade now, my musical journey for at least eight years, and my focus on compassion for about ten years. However, we’re entering a new age, and I know that I have the privilege of directing my energies outwards rather that just focusing on myself, and that there are souls beyond me needing my energies more than I do. We’re all at a Crossroads where we have to make a choice between who we are, who we’ve been, and who we want to become.
So as we leave this last cycle of harvest, I stand at a Crossroads. To keep my head down and perseverate and evaluate and contemplate – or to go out in the world and do and use the keys I’ve been given to unlock the doors? To quote this cycle’s companion song though – “anything is possible when we’re sowing the seeds of love.”